Author’s note:
This poem introduces the character Ichabod Storm Trouper, a composite personification of Revolutionary War era America with 1970s George Lucas blockbusterisation of Hollywood. He appears throughout the collection of poems California Sweet, someday forthcoming, in which this poem is a part of.

Alumni, Parents, Widow/ers

By Kent MacCarter

Men’s and women’s lavatories are located in The Oval Office
room inside the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.

Jodie Foster does not eat squaw bread.
Jodie Foster attended Yale University.

The BBQ Chicken Salad comprises of cos lettuce, corn, black beans, tomato
onions, mozzarella cheese, tortilla
strips and bbq ranch dressing,
and can be purchased for $9.95 in The Ronald Reagan
Pub located at the Air Force One Pavilion
inside the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. The BBQ Chicken Salad is available
with or without chicken,
and homemade fudge can be added on
the side for an extra $1.00.

Men’s and women’s lavatories are located in The Oval Office
room inside the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.

Ichabod S was fatigued from an afternoon of pivoting
through these Americans
and Heroes,
Assassination Attempt and
First Lady rooms inside the Ronald Reagan

Presidential Library.

 

Squaw bread
2                 cups warm water
1/3             cup vegetable oil
1/4             cup honey
1/2             cup packed brown sugar
2                 tbsp molasses (can replace with dark corn syrup)
1.5              tbsp dry active yeast
3-3.5          cups bread flour
1/2             cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2          cups medium rye flour
1/2             cup instant dry milk powder
2.5              tsp salt
2                 tbsp melted butter for brushing
1                  tbsp milk (optional)
2                  tbsp rolled or steel-cut oats (optional)

 

Self-guided tours are available for kindergarteners-
thru-seniors in high school. Children between age 3 and 10 must pay
$16 for entry into the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library,
and an additional $7 for the self-guided tour.
Active military are free.
The library closes at 5.

Ichabod S ordered the Air Force One Cheeseburger for $11.50.
It was served in Reagan’s Country Cafe located nearby
in the Annenberg Presidential Learning Center inside the Ronald Reagan
Presidential Library. It is a combo meal, and came with french fries
and Ichabod’s soft drink
of choice. It is not available takeaway, but can be ordered wrapped in tinfoil.
S nearly ordered the roast turkey with avocado on squaw
bread for $9.95.

A fellow patron had left
behind a copy of the Ventura County Star. It features opinion,
sports         lifestyle         homes         cars         entertainment      personals         classifieds

columns. In the Men seeking Men sub-section, Ichabod S
read that a .22 caliber Röhm RG-14 revolver
had placed an ad, and that this ad was encircled by many
orbits of red pen:

 

Straight-acting, single-shot DA fire arm seeks male companionship
& discipline. License preferred, not deal-breaker. Obsession
w freckled starlets a must. Formerly owned by
that Hinckley boy. Needs oil, lots of luv
to giv. Into aircraft hijacking, rubber compounds, Oklahoma
memorabilia. 420 friendly. Suicide ok. No freaks.

 

The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library is found at 40 Presidential Drive
Simi Valley, CA 93065
in the USA. There are two dining options
for your enjoyment. Please do not touch the F-14 fighter jet
located in the Ronald Reagan
Peace Plaza. Flash photography is permitted.

 

I’ve left you dozens of poems … love messages in the faint
hope that you could develop an interest in me. Although we
talked on the phone a couple of times I never had the nerve
to simply approach you and introduce myself … the reason
I’m going ahead with this attempt now is because I cannot
wait any longer to impress you.

 

If you must reload,
Men’s and women’s lavatories are located in The Oval Office
room inside the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.

 

Active Californian Members of the Yale Club 2016

Total alumni = 20,225
Total college parents = 8,944
Total college widow/ers = 764

 

No Jodie, no squaw. Impregnate me, snugglebumps (optional)

with bullets.
All-purpose flour

is for shaping / kneading. Ichabod paid. Ichabod S.

Photo: Money by Tax Credits

Share